THE DAY<\/p>\n
Actually, this is about the whole bloody week, isn’t it?<\/p>\n
I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but there are times–especially when you realize what the structure of the book has to be or when you can do without a POV character you thought you needed–when you’re cutting and rearranging even as you write a lot of new words. \u00a0That can sometimes feel really self-defeating. \u00a0Like, you’re cutting reams and reams of material. \u00a0While I wrote about 16,000 words this week, I also cut an equivalent amount and that hurts. \u00a0It is, however, as my husband is always reminding me: no matter how well you may think this out, you are still telling yourself the story. \u00a0Yes, you’re thinking about it and if you’re not writing, you’re always\u00a0thinking\u00a0<\/em>about writing, but you’re seeing the ideas for the first time, too, even if you’ve outlined (or jotted down stuff the night–or even hour–before). \u00a0I will say that things do always go much more smoothly if I chart out where I’m going first: who’s saying what to whom and why. \u00a0Again, this is where I think that writers who tell you they write only by the seat of their pants are lying. \u00a0You can’t, possibly. \u00a0You have to keep some kind of notes.<\/p>\n I was also thinking this week about life in general. While it’s true that you really\u00a0can’t\u00a0<\/em>compare yourself to starving refugees or something–and there is always someone who has it much worse than you–I’m in a pretty good place, even if that place is Alabama. \u00a0I’m not in love with this place; don’t misunderstand me. \u00a0But at least I have food and a place to live and work I enjoy if it also drives me to tear out my hair. \u00a0That’s not nothing. \u00a0So I always feel a little privileged and whiny when I moan about how\u00a0hard\u00a0<\/em>this is. \u00a0It\u00a0is\u00a0<\/em>hard, but there are a lot of things in life that are, and at least I am doing this by choice. \u00a0(True, I have no idea what I’d do if I wasn’t writing–go back into medicine, I guess–but I don’t want to; that’s not my identity anymore. \u00a0I will always be a doctor. \u00a0You can’t beat it out of me. \u00a0But I will likely never see another patient–though never say never.)<\/p>\n Anyway…maybe this is my long-winded way of saying that the writing is going. \u00a0It’s not great, but it’s not terrible either. \u00a0Alabama isn’t even close to where I will spent the rest of my life–but it could be worse.<\/p>\n A sidebar: a lot of friends think I should be able to find a lot of inspiration down here. \u00a0Maybe that’s so, but I’m not feeling it. \u00a0By and large, where I am is populated by a lot of people with whom I have little in common. \u00a0Some of them are caricatures, and I’m sure they feel the same way about me. \u00a0But the sensibilities are very different and for many, the preoccupation with slavery, the Civil War, and civil rights…I get it, but it’s not where my head is. \u00a0It has no resonance for me, and for now, I draw no inspiration either.<\/p>\n Don’t get me wrong. \u00a0There was plenty of bigotry in Wisconsin–look at the trouble in Milwaukee, for example, part of which is driven by racial inequities but partly also due to minorities preying on other minorities\u00a0(and if you doubt this, just go read Evicted<\/em> some time; a lot of people are getting rich off the poor, and a lot of the rich are other minorities). \u00a0So I\u00a0ran into it fairly frequently.<\/p>\n But here, it doesn’t feel the same. \u00a0I don’t know if I can even explain that, but there it is. \u00a0I see the injustice, but I also don’t feel it. \u00a0It’s like…no, I really don’t want to write a “Southern” novel. \u00a0I really don’t want to find a “Southern” sensibility. \u00a0I don’t want to inhabit that mindset. \u00a0I have my sensibilities, and for now, they’re rooted in the Midwest which I think I understand better. \u00a0Here, there’s too much simmering anger. \u00a0I met this guy from Madison (WI) the other day; he’d moved down here for the work. \u00a0But, man, he’d move back in a heartbeat and for all the reasons I understand–and you know, he said the same thing about the culture and mindset. \u00a0It’s just…different.<\/p>\n So I guess you have to decide if you want to understand it. \u00a0Me, I’m not sure I do; I have very little sympathy for a history and culture that, frankly, is fairly self-righteous and pretty bigoted. \u00a0Like, I met this black guy the other day and we get to talking, and he was the one who brought up that, you know, all that area around the hospital used to be black; there’s a slave cemetery there: “But they don’t care. \u00a0They just covered over those graves. \u00a0They didn’t move the bodies. \u00a0They didn’t care.” \u00a0(Although I could relate to that; no one cares about the Nazis who were here either.) \u00a0He also pointed out to me all the projects in town: “You don’t want to get car trouble here.” \u00a0And yet those areas are adjacent to a “revitalization” effort called Lowe Mill where they’ve got artists and musicians and whatnot. \u00a0But are there blacks there? \u00a0Very few.<\/p>\n Does that mean that EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is terrible? \u00a0Of course not. \u00a0But you have to be a transplanted Midwesterner, perhaps, to feel the rub, how grating this all is: how you have people who, at the drop of a hat, will rail against the North and talk about the Civil War as if it was yesterday.<\/p>\n It’s strange.<\/p>\n WRITING OUT LOUD Day 1: 1000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 23-26: 9450 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 51-52: 4500 Blog Post: 1110 THE DAY Actually, this is about the whole bloody week, isn’t it? I’m sure I’ve written about this before, but there are times–especially when you realize what the structure of the book has to be or when you can do…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","wpcat-1-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3992","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3992"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3992\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3999,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3992\/revisions\/3999"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ilsajbick.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nStay\u00a0Dead (started 5\/05; Days 1-4, false start)<\/p>\n
\nDay 2: 1200 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 27: (novella) 2000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 53-57: 6000
\nDay 3: 1800 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 28: 2500 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 58-61: 10,200
\nDay 4: 1350 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 29-32: 8850 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 62-67: 11,250
\nDay 5: 1000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 33: 3400 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 68-74: 16,110
\nDay 6: 2000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0LONDON HIATUS (13 days)
\nDay 7-10: ~4500 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 34: 3000
\nDay 11-12: ~5000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 35-39: 9,800
\nDay 13: 1600 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 40-43: 10,500
\nDay 14: 2300 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 44: 2000
\nDay 15-17: 4450 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 45-47: 6000
\nDay 18-19: 4500 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 48: 4000
\nDay 20-22: 5220 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 49-50: 3500<\/p>\n
\n***
\nWhat I’m Watching:
\nGosh, been a while. \u00a0Well, I watched\u00a0Trumbo<\/em>, which I found pretty entertaining. \u00a0Also finally saw\u00a0Sophie’s Choice. \u00a0<\/em>It’s dated but still quite watchable, and oh my, we were all so young then. \u00a0Of course, I’ve been watching the Olympics. \u00a0Every time Phelps stepped on the podium, I got teary. \u00a0Like, I’m glad I was alive to see this.
\n***
\nWhat I’m Reading:
\nA mishmash; nothing’s holding my interest for long, so I’m reading, variously,\u00a0Missing, Presumed<\/em>;\u00a0Just Fine<\/em>; and\u00a0Infidel<\/em>. \u00a0Why? \u00a0Like I said…nothing’s holding my interest. \u00a0It could be that I’m just more interested in my people now, I don’t know.
\n***
\nWhat I’m Listening to:
\nNo books for now. \u00a0Don’t know why; just didn’t manage to finish anything and haven’t found anything that grabbed me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"