This is something my husband says frequently: “You’re so quiet.” \u00a0He always follows that up with the observation that I must be thinking about whatever story I’m working on at the time. \u00a0Apparently, he’s decided that just as an athlete gets his game face on–remember Michael Phelps’s sneer at Le Clos and how he zones out before a race?–I’ve got my writer’s face, the one that clues him in to the fact that I might not say anything for, well . . . hours.<\/p>\n
The smoke pouring out of my ears might also be a giveaway.<\/p>\n
I have always done this, quite possibly because I have spent so much time in my head. \u00a0I remember a time when our family went on this cross-country camping trip and I spent hours saying nothing. \u00a0I remember staring out the window–man, Independence Pass is high–and recall how much this bothered my dad, who couldn’t understand why I wasn’t saying anything. \u00a0I just, you know . . . I had nothing to say. \u00a0But I am sure that I was spinning some story. \u00a0I did it all the time as a kid, especially when doing my chores of which there seemed to be a ton (though not even close to some of the farm kids I’ve known; those kids work hard and because it’s expected and everyone does it, no one complains). \u00a0Nothing makes the time pass faster than a good story, even if it’s only a daydream. \u00a0I won’t say that I looked forward <\/i>to endless hours in the heat doing this and that, but I do recall being eager to get back into whatever story I was telling myself at the time.<\/p>\n
This is what I’ve been doing nigh on these several weeks: telling myself a thread of the story that I have not until now. \u00a0It’s been all-consuming because while I thought I knew a lot, there is always more to learn (and that is the danger of research: you can trick yourself into thinking all those hours spent reading counts as writing). \u00a0There is a LOT to learn, though I’ve got enough just about. \u00a0Sometimes the information seems to fall out like pennies . . . that little tick-tick <\/i>you hear as I walk past.<\/p>\n
I also think that I am still uncertain enough of my own abilities that I wonder if I will ever finish this book. \u00a0That’s where endless research <\/i>can become avoidance. \u00a0I do know that I’ve approached my computer with a certain amount of dread. \u00a0In fact, these past few weeks I’ve been working somewhere else that isn’t my desk. \u00a0Like everything else–as with being here for the time being–I’ll have to get over this.<\/p>\n
I’ve also been using a new program, Scrivener, on the iPad just to see how I like it because one thing I do have trouble with, especially since my stories tend to be long and convoluted and what looks like a great idea one day is simply walking to the action the next time I see it (remind me to tell you about that), is keeping track. \u00a0The iOS app isn’t as easy as a full-on computer screen–possibly one more reason I’ve got to get back to the desktop eventually–because you can’t split screens to see your notes on the cork board. \u00a0The program’s useful, though, enough that I’ll likely use it for drafts at least. \u00a0I’m still too nervous to try it with a manuscript.<\/p>\n
Then again, I’m having my moments here.<\/p>\n
What I’ve also discovered in the actual outlining–you know, telling myself the story–is that the entire storyline I had developed for one character over so many thousands of words has to die.<\/p>\n
Which just slays me.<\/p>\n
Yes, yes, I know the story will be “better” once I do that. \u00a0But gee whiz.<\/p>\n
Anyway…the word count in terms of where I am in the outline and what I’ve managed isn’t too bad, especially since I’ve been traveling quite a bit. \u00a0Leaving today, in fact, for a much-needed long weekend of Wisconsin R&R. \u00a0So it’s been a tussle between getting to the \u00a0gym\/pool before I get on the bloody plane or simply sucking it up and working instead.<\/p>\n
I’m going to work. \u00a0I don’t work quite as well in airports and on planes, and since we’ll be seeing friends and I want to drink up as much of that good Wisconsin air as I can, I’m not sure how much time I’ll make for this. \u00a0But I got to finish this damn outline and get back to the actual book-book even though, yes, yes, the outline IS the book. \u00a0But it’s really not. \u00a0You just don’t know what a book will be until it’s done.<\/p>\n
Remind me also to tell you about starting at the end and working back…which I also have had to do with this outline because I really haven’t understood this one character’s story and don’t know HOW something ends up the way it does. \u00a0If I don’t get it, neither will you.<\/p>\n
Oh, I apologize ahead of time about the columns below. I’m doing this on the iPad and judging spacing is a little tough.<\/p>\n
WRITING OUT LOUD
\nStay Dead (started 5\/05; Days 1-4, false start; *Day 85: begin outline for remainder of book and new character)<\/p>\n
Day 1: 1000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 23-26: 9450 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 51-52: 4500
\nDay 2: 1200 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 27: (novella) 2000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 53-57: 6000
\nDay 3: 1800 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 28: 2500 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 58-61: 10,200
\nDay 4: 1350 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 29-32: 8850 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 62-67: 11,250
\nDay 5: 1000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 33: 3400 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 68-74: 16,110<\/p>\n
Day 6: 2000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0LONDON HAITUS: 13 days<\/p>\n
Day 7-10: ~4500 \u00a0 Day 34: 3000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 75-79: 11,900
\nDay 11-12: ~5000 \u00a0Day 35-39: 9,800 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 80-84: 13,000
\nDay 13: 1600 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 40-43: 10,500 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0*Day 85-92: 14,000
\nDay 14: 2300 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 44: 2000 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 *Day 93-108: 13,200
\nDay 15-17: 4450 \u00a0 \u00a0 Day 45-47: 6000
\nDay 18-19: 4500 \u00a0 \u00a0Day 48: 4000
\nDay 20-22: 5220 \u00a0 Day 49-50: 3500<\/p>\n
Blog Post: 1060<\/p>\n
***
\nWhat I’m Watching: Oh, gosh, a lot of movies, I think and all sorts. \u00a0Football, of course, but not as much. \u00a0Just no time.
\n***
\nWhat I’m Reading: Tons of source material, mainly: stuff about southern chain gangs, black prisoners during Reconstruction, coal mining in general (good thing I’ve visited a ton of mines), railroad lines and maps, certain locals…because, yes, one of the characters (the one for whom I hadn’t quite figured out a story) comes from Alabama. \u00a0She gets the hell out, though not the way she’s wanted. \u00a0(A touch autobiographical? \u00a0Only slightly, though, yes, this place has gotten under my skin.)
\n***
\nWhat I’m Listening to: Cold Moon Over Babylon. \u00a0<\/i>Not bad. \u00a0I also finished another book but can’t remember what it was for the life of me–which just goes to show what a tremendous impact it had.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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